Circle Jerk of Death
by Scarlet Ibis
Summary: Takes place during "The Last Day on Earth." For awhile, I thought someone should have said something. It was a terrifying situation, and no one wanted to bring unnecessary attention to themselves, but it seemed like the thing to do–a last ditch effort. After further thought, I wondered what would've happened had Merle been with Team Family, and...
1. Merle

Merle: Whoa, now hang on there DiMaggio. Don't you see this what it's for?

Negan: Now there's a bold son of bitch. What is this for you?

Merle: _[scoffs]_ It's our first meeting, ain't it? We sent you a message, and you sure as shit got it, didn't ya?

Negan: And what message was that?

Merle: We've heard about you for some time. Uh huh. Wanted to be part of this…movement, but didn't see a clear way in. It was decided we would trim some fat for you.

 _[Negan cocks his head, drumming his fingers along the base of his bat]_

Negan: Trim fat?

Merle: How in the hell else would you describe it? We did you a favor, man. Got rid of your weaker flunkies. Two birds, one stone. We make room for ourselves in your empire while proving what we can do at the same time.

[Merle smirks, while Negan smiles]

Negan: You expect me to buy that shit?

Merle: No shit here, man. Only the god's honest truth. Sure, you caught us at a bad time, what with the sick den mother over there, but we'e been looking forward to this day.

Negan: Your day of reckoning.

Merle: Business, friend. Business. Aren't you curious to know what we can do for you?

Negan: Already know what you're going to do–give me fifty percent of what you got.

 _[Merle scoffs, then spits]_

Merle: And here I thought you were a man with a vision. This group right here–we're worth more than that. We aren't just delivery boys and girls. We've got tactical, mental, and physical. Hell, the eighties Gap ad over there that you decided to whoop on? He's a damn scientist. The caramel queen over there? Sharp shooter. That big ginger–he's a bonafide, U.S. military sergeant. Just a few examples. What we have, I guarantee you ain't got. The same applies for us. You clearly have reach and resources. But there's always a better mouse trap, ain't it? Think you and me and Rick can hash this business out?

 _[Negan looks over at Rick, who looks anxious and confused]_

Negan: He looks a bit worse for wear. Why him?

 _[Merle shrugs]_

Merle: Officer–sorry, Sheriff Friendly over there? Well, he's our big boss. And I'm his mouth piece.

Negan: …Okay. You two–in the trailer. Let's work out some details.


	2. Philip

_**Summary: This was requested–same deal as the Merle v. Negan, except this time with Philip…**_

* * *

 _[Philip chuckles a bit to himself]_

Negan: What's so funny?

Philip: You want to punish us, but you also want us to work for you. Being an outsider you clearly don't know the dynamics of our group. I'm guessing you would want to choose the most expendable person.

Negan: _[shrugs]_ It'd be a logical thing to do.

Philip: Pragmatic. Every good leader should be a pragmatist.

Negan: And how would you suggest I suss that out? What, your group's gonna take a vote on who should be the sacrificial lamb?

Philip: I suppose we could, but I don't imagine many, if any, would participate. Except…

Negan: Except?

Philip: For me. See, I'm pragmatic, like you. I understand how things work.

Negan: Is that right?

Philip: It is.

Negan: I'm guessing you won't choose yourself.

Philip: Why should I? I'm offering you honesty, not heroics. Besides, I am extremely valuable.

 _[Negan gives a cruel a smile, and starts to pace down the line]_

Negan: The weakest member, huh? Mind if I take a guess?

Philip: If you'd like.

Negan: Well, an obvious choice would be this sickly looking thing over here. _[He waves his bat in front of Maggie's face]_

Philip: You'd be wrong. She's not one hundred percent right now, but that doesn't mean you should count her out. Our Maggie…she's strong. Takes a lot for her to be shook. I should know.

 _[Negan cocks his head at that, curious]_

Negan: You've done some shaking?

Philip: History. We've all got one.

Negan: Okay. Not her, then…the boy?

 _[Negan pushes up Carl's hat with the tip of his bat]_

Philip: You'd be wrong again. Our future is with the children, and this is no ordinary kid. He's a chip off the ol' block. There's nothing weak about him.

 _[Carl keeps his steely, one-eyed stare on Negan, who just smiles at him]_

Negan: I'll take one last guess–the Pillsbury Doughboy.

Philip: Did he tell you what direction we were headed in?

Negan: …no.

Philip: And you beat him good and proper from the looks of it. He's not a fighter, but he has other uses. He's one of the few brains left on this earth, I reckon. I've killed a man like him before. It was a mistake. That isn't a slight to anyone who isn't a braniac. I'm no slouch, and I'm sure your'e not either. But we're also not scientists.

Negan: Well. Who would you single out then?

 _[Philip straightens a bit and lifts his head, preparing to give the name. He knows all eyes are on him, but he doesn't care]_

Philip: You know, I learned a while back that sometimes, in order to survive, you simply must cut the weakest link. And of all who are before you, I will be honest and say that that person would be…her.

 _[Negan is stunned as Philip points to Rosita, and so is the rest of the group]_

Negan: And that is your honest opinion?

Philip: It is.

 _[Negan walks over to Rosita and shrugs, bat raised high]_

Negan: Fair enough.


	3. Aaron

_**Summary: Same deal, but with Aaron, and all original characters there.**_

* * *

"You killed a lot more of my people than I'm comfortable with."

"And your people killed some of us, too," Aaron blurted out. He was perspiring from nerves, but the look on his face was one of determination. "Not even fighters, just…innocent people who weren't on one side or the other. An unarmed woman. A _doctor_. There was no honor in that. You owe us a pass."

"You sneak in and kill unarmed men and call _that_ honor?"

"Your men had hostages. Already killed one, and threatened to kill more. And that's including some of the very people who are here now. We were rightfully defending ourselves. You forced us into offense."

Negan smiled cruelly. "Did I, now?"

"Well, more accurately, your men. You're the one with the power. You're the one in control. No one would dare dispute that. We understand how things are, now. But what you put us through today? It was perverse. Who even has that kind of time? You flexed, and we noticed. Couldn't ignore it if we tried. What we did was in self-defense."

"What are you asking?"

"What I am asking for is leniency. For you to be magnanimous. Let us take her, and him for that matter," he said, gesturing to Maggie and Daryl, "to help and medical attention. Let us sit down _with you_ and work on the details of what you want from us. Let's talk it out. If this indeed a new world order, then there has to be a level of diplomacy. There's _gotta_ be."

Negan cocked his head to the side. "Well where's the fun in that? Besides, I already have the one up to bat all picked out." Negan turned and pointed. "And that's gonna be _you._ "


End file.
